Jeff, George, Several others and Laid.com

I found myself in a series of random online encounters. How better for a workaholic woman to meet men than through the virtual rabbit hole.

My persona is open and forward - - -ending long-term relationship, fun loving, energetic, educated and looking for someone to share this exciting chapter of live.

You will be surprised at how alluring the environment is - let me share.
I started initially with "The Ashley Madison Agency". This is a site that caters to cheaters. My thoughts were that I had crossed the line to cheating, was still ineffectively married and would like to experiment sexually. I did not want to commit to anyone, take anyone from someone (which is what cheating essentially is) or disappoint someone who really was searching for the love of their lives. I was lonely,mischievous and wanted to play.

The Ashley Madison experience is a very interesting one and highly ego-gratifying. Here's how it works...you sign on to their website, get a password and create your profile. Remember you are on line, no one really sees you...and I was highly uncertain. I checked all the blocks: interested in threesomes, gives oral sex, loves kinkiness...everything that would paint me as a potential 'fun partner'...oh, and these were all things that I would never entertain doing (ever).You have the choice to buy "credits" or be a guest. The credits give you the opportunity to e-mail or IM the other "members". I decided that this just might not be for me and went for the guest membership. I think my profile was available for about 10 minutes and I started to get 'pinged'...welcome '"Desiree"...how's that for a pseudo-porn star name..."Desiree"...I just loved how it sounds and rolled off the tongue (you can take that any way you want).
"Desiree" was everything that I was not...she was uninhibited, forthcoming and very graphic. This was like putting my well-manicured toe in a cesspool...and I really, really liked it.

Ladies - I had some very graphic conversations in Instant Message volleys that encouraged me to want more. I think at one point in time this is all I thought about. I also found that the middle-aged man is a very complicated and under appreciated commodity. They are somewhat caught in the 'I'm still an alpha male' - -'ah, I've had sex with the same woman forever and it still sucks' and 'I just want a little adventure'. I had come to think that they were all like lost puppies and just needed a little attention and I did enjoy giving them attention. I found that my mind was wild, exploring areas that had no limits with an audience that had no boundaries. I was no longer sexually repressed and all this was accomplished with the same tools as one uses to communicate at work...a key board and computer...wow !

There were so many men - too many - -they all started to blend together and they adored me...they adored the attention. Plus - I'm smart and attentive to detail, this was catnip. I adored them talking about their large cocks and what they would do with me. They were always encouraged to do the same with their wives; almost felt as if that was the community service. There were several that were just wonderful - -one that I've been friendly with for over a year: Jeff. Jeff is a highly successful Park Avenue attorney. He's been married to the same woman for 36 years and is hen-pecked. He has tremendous presence, quick wit and a highly vivid sexual appetite. Jeff has taught me thing that I did not know existed. Though the process, we have become very good friends, he gives me legal advice and I've given him incredible sex. Yes, we did meet. I've had several encounters with him in person (business trips). He is perfection - yet we are both cheaters, would not have it any other way and just enjoy our time together. He seduced me in the bar of the New York Hilton - -I knew it was him and we were attracted to each other like magnets. And that is the danger, impulse control - sexual desire do not work; either do zippers and buttons. We had four encounters in two days, all in between business meetings and dinners...just phenomenal..we joked that I should work in the city and call him for daily quickies. Just quickies...nothing more.
He started to send me exquisite LaPerla lingerie and thigh high stockings: sheer delight. The most beautiful lingerie made and it felt so good next to my skin; he had a baby blue satin corset made for me. It is delicious and he enjoys taking it off me. We have intense sex, rough sex and sweaty sex. We fit each other well and he looks at me adoringly. He has always been respectful and I am his escape - -or tart. There is no wish for anything more. I am his playmate and I like it. We continue to tease each other, but no strings and I let him know of all my exploits. He's like a caring buddy, but one that makes me wild with passion. Oh, and we are both still married. Ouch...

During one of Jeff's lapses, I decided that I no longer wanted to be married and started to pretend that I was "Currently Separated". This was a mental delineation and not a legal one. I stopped wearing my wedding ring when I left the house. I stopped doing "Ashley Madison" and progressed to eHarmony and Match.com...I did meet a delightful gentleman on eHarmony. The premise there is that you complete a lengthy questionnaire. I believe that the length of the questionnaire is in direct proportion to how desperate you are to find someone. I created "Kit"...oh, that's not my real name (snicker)...She was entering "the next exciting chapter of life". I did not display my picture (I am married, after all) and started to hunt. Well-- with Ashley Madison the cheaters pursue one another; with eHarmony- -they do all the work (OK, there is a price associated with it) and send you "interests"...well, my basket was filled quickly. There are dozens of men my age out there all looking...the most memorable was "Rick". Rick and I are still friends, texting and talking occasionally. He's disappointed because I am married; but we did consummate our relationship. He wasn't as torrid as Jeff or Ashvini - -but mission accomplished. I can understand why he was divorced: no real technique, too much muscle, not enough tenderness. He is a successful business man, gets commitment phobic and is just fun to play with. When I told him I was married, I devastated the poor man. He was heartbroken. It made me very sad that I knew I crossed a sacred line with him and marched off eHarmony. I was actually in a fairly decent funk for several weeks afterwards- -but then went for what I hope is my last venture: Match.com. I do believe it should be called "Laid.com". It's a more relaxed version of eHarmony, which does do a good job vetting the participants. Match is a free-for-all...you're my age, you're cute...let's meet. There's no guided communication. I actually enjoyed the courting aspect of eHarmony...name three things you like to do on a date (OK and sex wasn't mentioned). It was good clean fun and gave you the opportunity to get to know someone, oh - -and I did not show "Rick" my picture until after he asked me out for dinner. I am an attractive woman, he was shocked that I wouldn't "advertise"...I did tell him that I wanted him to get to know me and not just see my packaging, which is true. However, I'm a fricken cheater...how dishonest is that? and I did hurt him. He's a tough business man, but a gentle heart. I was a jerk for doing that. I also broke my own rule in that I did not want to hurt anyone that was looking for love. That's enough for now...we'll pick up and I'll tell you all about My George...